My worst still makes me shiver as I think of it.
I was on a Greek island-hopping holiday many years ago. For those of you that haven't been to Greece, they have a poor sewerage system, so have a dustbin by the squat bogs for used bog roll.
Anyway, I was on a ferry between Naxos and Paros when I felt an almighty twinge in my gut telling me that I'd picked up a grecian tummy bug. The boat was pitching about but it was a nice day so I wasn't too worried. I got to the toilets and recoiled - the whole of the squat area was covered in shit, by this time I was burting so held my breath, pulled down my shorts and pants and, while trying not fall over due to the rolling boat, I added to the mess and stink with load of watery diarrhoea.
About to pass out due to lack of oxygen, I looked around for the bog roll...there wasn't any. My arse was covered with runny shite and I HAD to wipe. Yes, you've guessed it. I had to open the dustbin of used bog roll, and select the least shitty bits of second hand bog roll to wipe my arse.
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