Poo Competition

My Friend Tom and I always used to discuss our shits. He used to be very proud of spending half an hour 'crimping one off'.

We then had a competition to see who could have the most plops in a day. It started off well enough, with about 3 or 4 each on the first day. Then tactics came into play. We both rushed off to the local curry house for vindaloos. Day 2 brought us up to about 7 and 5 poos each. Then I did something very silly.

I chose to cheat. Off I wen to Boots the Chemist and bout £10 worth of Ex-lax chocolate bars. And ate them all. Don't do this at home kids - it is not funny. On the plus side I was pooing 20 to 30 times a day, and won the competition. On the negative side, I spent most of the next 2 days on the toilet, getting more and more dehydrated, or walking carefully around my flat, with underpant stuffed with toilet paper incase of any further anal seepage.

I couldn't fart or laugh or cough without a couple of spoons of hot wet poo in my pants. Just say no to ex-lax kids.